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it doesn't matter much to me

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dumb. [14 Apr 2009|01:06am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

so twice in the past month i've gotten in big dumb fights with people about my self-esteem issues. they get so mad at me and i honestly don't get how i feel about myself has any reflection on them.
also, ps, dumbfaces: REALLY makes me feel good about me when you're yelling at me.

3 comments|post comment

blarg. [25 Mar 2009|01:31pm]
i need this semester to end because it's killing me.
i need this semester to not end because i don't know what the fuck i'm doing with my life.
1 comment|post comment

love. [08 Dec 2008|08:51pm]
katie cossolotto. i am in love with her. but we can never be. i want to go down on her shooby doo wop. greyyy rabaaaah.
1 comment|post comment

so, [10 Oct 2008|05:54pm]
my parents are getting divorced.

its gonna be a weird christmas.

lolz to dlist. [05 Aug 2008|11:58pm]
i got this message today from some guy and kristen told me to post it on here:

>hi handsome... I see your photos and cannot stop thinking about this beautiful man about underpants!  see you T.
5 comments|post comment

dumb and annoying but thats what livejournal is for. [14 May 2008|03:50pm]
i just came back from my EvoS seminar final. i was freaking out about it all day. i was positive i was going to fail it which would mean i would fail the course which would me i wouldn't be able to complete my EvoS minor which would mean i was a complete and utter failure.

the test was fine.

i handed it in and he gave me my paper back. i was sure i'd gotten a terrible grade because it was over a week late, it wasn't proof read, i needed to cite more sources and i'd written the entire thing in about 8 hours.

i got a 100 and he wrote this on the back "What a great, thoughtful paper--you have a career ahead of you as a scholar if you want it."

at first it made me smile. but then i thought about it more as i was driving home and i ruined it. i thought about what the comment would have been if i'd actually put some effort into it. i've realized i'm terrified of people believing in me because the responsibility adds to much pressure. i'm just going to let them down. then i thought about what my life would be like if i put some effort in to anything i've ever done. honestly, all i ever really want to do is sleep. what could i be doing if i actually had some drive?
1 comment|post comment

[05 Apr 2008|04:02am]
i am terrible at being gay.
4 comments|post comment

pretty new computer. [13 Mar 2008|04:22pm]
i finally gave up on my alienware laptop. it was dumb and wouldn't charge. i got a new laptop and it is pretty and nice and you should call me on skype(s/n: thestarswerenotflowers). i've forgotten how to make proper entries. bai.
1 comment|post comment

[11 Nov 2007|08:11pm]
i just had one of the most amazing dreams of my life. i don't think i'll ever forget it. actually, now remembering the details parts of it were really weird.

the jist is my family was having a party and i needed to go back to school soon. we were eating and i had a iece of pizza but it fell on the cat and i had to chase him around outside to get it back. then all of the sudden i looked up into the sky and there was a "flock" of moose running throught the sky. apparently this was completely normal. it was a annual ritual exactly like geese. they were just flying to a warmer climate. it didn't make it any less amazing  though. everyone came outside to come look and then the sun started setting and there were moose everywhere in the sky and i could see miles and miles and of mountain ranges in every direction and, this is weird, but i guess i wrote a song in the dream too cuz it was playing in the background as i was laying in the grass and the dream camera was panning around to the entire sky. eventually other things  started floating through the sky. they were really just like titanous human like creatures and they just floated around really high up. i know i'm not getting expressing this correctly and its probably sounding really ridiculous. i really wish i had a projector coming out of my head so everyone could experience what i just did. oh well. i'm really glad i typed that out so i don't forget.
1 comment|post comment

oops! [26 Oct 2007|11:13am]
right, i should probably mention this:

we are NOT having a Halloween party tomorrow night. we were planning on it but then everything went crazy and we kind of just decided not to have it. just wanted to make sure everyone knew.
2 comments|post comment

[03 Oct 2007|03:59pm]
5 comments|post comment

[28 Sep 2007|02:53am]
i'm being a hypocrite and i'm being selfish. i need to stop.

why i love joss whedon and kitty pryde [15 Sep 2007|02:44pm]
"Everything is so fragile. There's so much conflict, so much pain... you keep waiting for the dust to settle and then you realize this is it; The dust is your life going on. If happy comes along-- that weird unbearable delight that's actual happy-- I think you have to grab it while you can. You take what you can get; cause its here and then...gone."
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[15 Sep 2007|01:56am]
haha, what the fuck was tonight? weird weird weird.
1 comment|post comment

i am so fucking dumb i can't even believe it. [13 Sep 2007|11:42pm]
iprayedforacrash (11:24:42 PM): Sept. 6-12 Late Registration/Add:A student may register for the first time ($30 fee) or add a course ($15 fee) with the written permission of the instructor and department chair PI/PC.
iprayedforacrash (11:25:08 PM): i think i fucked myself over for evolutionary psych.
stynkushminkle (11:25:03 PM): why?
iprayedforacrash (11:25:54 PM): registraton ended yesterday apparently and i never got my pi card signed by the department chair cuz i thought i had more time
stynkushminkle (11:25:58 PM): email him
iprayedforacrash (11:26:25 PM): i don't think there is anything he can do. i think all i can do now is audit
stynkushminkle (11:26:34 PM): well you can still check to see if you can make it work
stynkushminkle (11:30:23 PM): i have one question for you
stynkushminkle (11:30:27 PM): why your room so big?
stynkushminkle (11:34:15 PM): and no answer.
iprayedforacrash (11:35:12 PM): I messed up. I didn't realize the deadline for registration was yesterday and now I'm not sure if I can still add your class. I haven't had a chance get the PI card signed by the department chair either. Do you know if there is anyway for me to still do this or have I been screwed over by Bureaucracy and my own irresponsibility?stynkushminkle (11:35:35 PM): is bureaucracy capitalized?
iprayedforacrash (11:36:26 PM): i fixed that
iprayedforacrash (11:36:30 PM): is that okay?
stynkushminkle (11:36:31 PM): yeah
stynkushminkle (11:36:40 PM): i thought it said fucked up but i was going to be like no change that
stynkushminkle (11:36:50 PM): maybe if he likes you you can fudge the paperwork
stynkushminkle (11:37:05 PM): does he know how excited you were fo the class?
iprayedforacrash (11:37:17 PM): i think its out of his hands
iprayedforacrash (11:37:20 PM): haha, i dunno
stynkushminkle (11:37:45 PM): well you can convey that in the email
stynkushminkle (11:37:53 PM): he could have favors
stynkushminkle (11:38:00 PM): never underestimate backscratching
iprayedforacrash (11:39:58 PM): my own irresponsibility? I really can't believe i did this because I've been talking off anyone's ear who will listen to me about how excited I am about this class.
iprayedforacrash (11:40:53 PM): been talking off anyone's ear who will listen to me about how excited I am about this class and displacing semen.
stynkushminkle (11:40:45 PM): there's always next semester if this doesn't work?iprayedforacrash (11:41:08 PM): thats the thing, i don't know
iprayedforacrash (11:41:09 PM): dfhgjkg
stynkushminkle (11:41:12 PM): well you won;t know until you talk to this dude
iprayedforacrash (11:41:26 PM): k
iprayedforacrash (11:41:52 PM): okay, i sent it
iprayedforacrash (11:41:57 PM): and the semen thing, haha
stynkushminkle (11:41:53 PM): good.
iprayedforacrash (11:42:07 PM): zthtfrhirtk
iprayedforacrash (11:42:18 PM): I'M SO FUCKING MAD AT MYSELF!
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[13 Sep 2007|09:32am]
barb already said it but i REALLY needed last night. thanks, guys.
2 comments|post comment

why i haven't been online. [23 Jul 2007|09:03pm]
my laptop is officially kaput until kiona can work her magic fingers. this message has been brought to you by the wii and the letter 'k'.
3 comments|post comment

[26 Apr 2007|11:30am]
hi, biology makes me want to shoot myself in the face! lawlz! bai!

[25 Apr 2007|07:59pm]
i had to update with this cuz i found it fairly hilarious: i was just sitting in my exploring the unknown class kind of spacing and i looked at the kid that was sitting next to me and he is rolling joints. in the middle of class. there were like 4 joints in his notebook already by the time i noticed and he just has this bag in his lap and he is leisurely rolling another one. oh, new paltz...

i spent all day writing my paper but my heart wasn't in it. i skipped both of my classes and only got like halfway through by 5:30 so i decided i'd just hand it in late. i'm terrible with that. i downloaded the futurama episode with bigfoot in it for "research" and i'm going to give a copy of it to my prof cuz i thought he would appreciate it. i also remembered a hilarious episode of dexter's lab which i found on youtube and i am very excited to watch.

my friggin' pokemon game finally got here.

i should be home for the summer on may 17th. i'm going to try to get a job as soon as possible i talked briefly to barb about a job at AE. i don't particularly like AE, nor do i have any real desire to work in retail again but it seems like it's be mostly stock which i enjoy and i also enjoy barb. dunno what else to write about. bye.
1 comment|post comment

my only regret is that i had bone-itis. [20 Apr 2007|05:41am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

i just had dream that i was at the najdzin household and  i was drunk and i had to pee in a toilet shaped like a bear cuz the other one was broken(and also shaped like a recliner) and the downstairs one's were dirty and laura got a fine last time she used one of them. so i went to my friend's chinese restaurant and he let me pee into one of the containers they put tofu in and they sent that order to a bitchy customer(which makes me really sad now that i'm awake but i was fine with it then). so i went out to my car and then what i can only describe as a group of yuppies came out and tried to tip the car while i was in it and my horn wasn't working. thats when i woke up cuz i got scared. only i would have a nightmare with yuppies and bathroom fines as the main antagonists. gonna try to get back sleep. maybe there will be porn ninjas in this one. i've already dealt with them once before so it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

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